Awe inspiring....

So God is truly amazing. I was stunned and I continue to wish I was in that moment!

This Sunday we baptized our son Luke. We were joined by our closest friends and family during this ceremony. My brother is a self proclaimed athesit and probably would never had stepped into a church if it wasn't for Luke.

So since we scheduled our son's baptism I've been praying for a miracle; since this is a rare oppurtunity. Since then I've been re-reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis to better understand the philosophy background since my brother uses that to argue his point. I told my friend Kara and my husband this last night as we are bathing Luke. That I've been praying for this awesome sermon that would get my brother thinking...start looking for God instead of looking for nothing.

Sunday's sermon was right on target. It was the sermon I prayed for and to witness an actual prayer be answered was amazing. It talked about how God leaves the light on for you when you are in darkness. People who are in the darkest dark are those who do not know God. The preacher also mentioned how after his athesit firend read "Mere Christianity" that he had no doubt that there was God. I was amazed...almost in tears and in shock that this was unfolding in front of us. Two others were there to witness this blessing because they knew I had been praying for this. I looked at my brother a few times and he was engaged and thinking during this sermon. It may not have convinced him today, but I continue that the seed that was planted will grow. I pray now that he picks up my book by C.S. Lewis and read it..since it speaks his language.

Here is the sermon transcript! http://am-umc.org/sermons/2010/sermon100725.htm

I feel that today the devil got a grasp on my family. Today just didn't feel right. First is all I had to go buy a swimsuit. So I went to academy to find a nice tankini to hide my "tiger stripes". I was super excited when I got there because all swim wear was 50% off! Only problem was they had nothing. No tankinis at all!!!! So I was bummed. I tried on a few others but I haven't gotten quite used to my new mommy body. It has taken some time.

So we went home after that and took a nap, ate lunch to prepare for this late afternoon's swim party! Definitely looking forward to that. I decided to check Target before I headed over there to see if they had any cute swim suits. I had one of my old ones on just in case I didn't find any. I was so happy that I found one! So I gathered a few more items and left the store on my way to the party with other moms. Then failure....

My care decided that it was going to refuse to take the key. So I sat there for 30 minutes trying to jiggle the key into the ignition. Luke was crying, we were both sweating. Not sure who I should call because I knew of some people's schedules and they were busy today. We missed the party and got a ride home from a nice lady.

What gets me is this car has been nothing but trouble. I just want to sell it and finance a new/used car. I know that is not one of our goals at the moment but it is just so tempting to get a loan so I can be done with this car drama. I think I might throw a party when the car is gone.

Today's Accomplishments

Today I actually painted. I'm pretty proud of that since I had Luke with me today. Though I really only painted for like an hour...I later joined Luke for a nap.

Since our return from Lytle we are having to recondition Luke. Last night was ok...but I am hoping night will be an improvment.

Today felt like a Monday but I was glad it didn't start like a Monday. I got up this morning and finally went to my stroller fit class. I was glad to be back and working out. Although while doing morning drills I fell on my knees and smashed my face in to the concrete ground. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing but there just happened to be a bunch of college guys nearby running up the hill and saw the entire fiasco. Today wasn't a good day to exercise outside. It was warm and very humid...no wind. So I experienced some heat exhaustion and almost passed out. I sat down alot because I was getting dizzy. I think I need to drink more water.

Luke and I went to the new walmart in College Station. I have to say it is as classy as a target. It is very very nice. I generally don't like walmart but this is the only exception. We actually got through without any tantrums but I think people think I am crazy. I kept making funny faces, singing silly songs and kissing toes. I actually had fun shopping today.

NANNERS!!!!!!!! Today Luke started eating banannas. YEA!!! I don't think he was to thrilled as I am because he didn't each very much. It could also because daddy fed him and not mommy. Luke also rolled over from back to front! We've been watching it for a couple of weeks now so we knew it would be close. Now I have a whole new thoughts to worry about. Most of which is what if he rolls over in his sleep and smothers himself! Again I have a vivid imagination...just wished I used it for good instead of for bad.

PPD: Today was good. No feelings of wanting to cry. I hope this continues. I think it helped alot when I got home yesterday and the entire house was clean; all credit to the hubby. I also think returning to see friends and family this weekend and having an art outlet set me back on the saddle. Doctor said she would give me something for it but I truly believe my exercising helps. I'll give it a few more weeks and decide. I feel that admitting that I have PPD I recognize it is a situation I have no control over. I did nothing to cause it and I'm not a bad mother or person for having this condition. I just need to take care of myself so I can continue becing a good wife and good mommy!

Step Two of new painting

This is before Lunch on the second day... this is what I worked on. Finished the underpainting and started to build around my focal point which was the falls. I started with placing in the darks in. In the past I used to block in everything. That would then take away from the focal point; instead I learned to build around it.

I also tend to detail everything. I guess when people see you as an artist they want to see how realistic you can get it. They expect you to make them a photograph of an image. Taking away how the artist sees the painting. When an artist interprets the object they put in emotions, personality and charcter into the painting's object. Put some people in a classroom and ask them to paint a pear and that pear will be seen differently by each individual. It drives me nuts when people don't think it looks like it...and we are to say "Well...that is what you see, but I see it differently! "

Any ways, I then got the background too green with Viridian Hue. A little goes along way. So we grayed up the mountains by using a bluish gray to distance them and to get rid of the green. We also used a pink sky to give the essence of morning or mid morning.

Another thing to remind myself. Darks closest to the foreground are going to be the darkest dark and as they move away the get lighter. Another thing I am known for are hard lines and high contrast. So I'm trying to tone down the darks as the move away from the front of the picture.

Started a New Painting 7/16-18

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So I took an Art class this weekend with Jay Hester in Boerne, TX. He was one of the instructors when I recieved a scholarship from HLSR. So since I am trying to begin an art career I decided I needed to learn something new and improve my skills.

I decided to work on my art show piece for the Hill Country Arts Council: Art in Conservation Spring Show 2011. I generally don't like landscapes. Too, many trees, too much green and too boring. If there was some cows in a landscape it's more interesting...ect. So this is different and out of my comfort zone.

Since the last time I took from, I've gotten lazy. I race through the underpainting and then block in everything in with color. Really it more like painting by numbers. Take your time building your underpainting...the better the map the better you will be able to work on the pictire. Place your darks first and then build around the object as it is relative to it. If you don't get what I'm saying that's ok. :) So this is the beginning of the piece...Step one.

The Beginning of a new thing

There are several reasons why I decided to start a blog..but the biggest one was to journal thoughts and feelings. This year has been full of excitement. I gave birth to our son Luke, Brandon (my husband) got a new job, we moved from Hondo to College Station, TX and I finished nursing school and passed my boards. All of this has been fun and exciting but has left me drain. I talked to my Doctor this week and she agrees that I might have essence of or delayed post partum depression. Mainly because of all of the above happening in the span of 4 months, but also because my support of friends and family are not neccessarily there anymore in College Station. Don't get me wrong, I still have friends there but some relationships are distant then others, some I need to get to know better and some are just in a different stage of life then I am in. There is room to grow in those friendships but I lost a very close friendship which I have yet to re-establish in College Station.

So in essence I have created this blog to discuss the thoughts and feelings I have and just to put my inner thoughts into a space that is neutral. I don't care if you disagree with them or agree but to give you example...I was watching Foxnews and all i wanted to do was to yell but instead of yelling I texted my husband all my thoughts about this certain individual and their policies. He later told me to start a blog. Then I visited my friend's blog and it looked like alot of fun. So here I am...starting a blog of randomness.