Hectic week with lots of things on my mind.

So I have been so busy these past few weeks I feel mentally and physically exhausted. I finally got the floor mopped so I'm now going to pour my restless unsettling mind in to my blog (since I use it as a journal).

So last week we decided that Luke was going to be the Turtle. I really wanted a lobster but that failed. Found a frog costume and really wanted that too but it was to thick and thought that Luke would get overheated and not to mention it was like 60 bucks!

I traveled to Hondo for my friend Marie's baby shower. I have such joy for her and her coming blessing and wish her and husband nothing but joy. Luke like flirting with all the girls. It was funny seeing him try to talk to the other girl babies and they kept giving him the cold shoulder. I have a feeling my son is going to be a ladies man. Then I got to spend some time with my good friend Nicholle and her two boys (one is my godson). I attempted to clean our Hondo house but that failed miserably because I left the key at my in-laws house and didn't realize it until I was at the destination. Also while I was in Hondo I went ahead and voted. Please don't forget to vote. On the way back from Lytle I stopped in San Marcos to visit with my folks and enjoyed some Red Lobster and got to visit with them for a while. It gave my mom some baby time while dad and I enjoyed some political conversation. We also got our (brandon and I's) birthday present....a brand new camera! YES!

I just feel I have too much to do. My son is teething, my house is a wreck and needs cleaning, I need to do/finish laundry...and the list goes on. Now that he is crawling and putting things in his mouth I can't leave him by himself as much to go and do stuff. Not to mention to use this time for some mental "checking-out" time. I enjoy M.O.P.S because it gives me almost 3 hours of time off, which is such a luxury, to fellowship with other christian women and do crafty things. I like the crafts! :) I also enjoyed my run this morning...it gave me an outlet for all my stress. I try running every other day...but it seems my motivation to do it is quickly fading. I guess ever since I realized I would be unable to run the 1/2 marathon in two weeks it hasn't been my focus or my determination. I atleast try to run 20-30mins, but it been more like a mile.

I have lots more on my mind but for now this is the most I wanted to get off my chest. Since Luke is asleep I want to make sure I get all my other stuff done before my little monster awakes. :)

Growing up so fast!

Luke is growing up so fast! He is almost 7 months...2 days to be exact and I can't believe it! He has started to crawl around 5 months and became fluent in it by 6. Started to pull up on stuff and now he is fluent in that. He no longer wants to be held and want to put on the floor so that he can crawl to wherever his little heart desires! Holdfast to the days where your babies want to be held...soon they no longer do and you will pine for those days back!

The first picture is of Luke at his first Aggie game! Ags played a rough game against FIU and won it. The next picture is CS's first cold snap and picture's Luke in his monkey hat. I think he is a cute little monkey! I've alway loved hooded towels and we received this one from my second cousin who just got married last weekend. This picture reminds me of Lilo and Stitch in the scene where Stitch is knocked down and the frog jumps on his head to save him.

Things going on in the Dominguez family: Brandon joined toastmaster (along with my brother...good bonding time); Brandon and I just celebrated our birthday's on the 8th; visited the state fair back in September and consumed 5 days worth of calories (exaggerated or not exaggerated...that is the question) by eating fried foods such as butter, cookie dough, pb&j, pizza, frito pie, and margartia; visited family in Lytle and celebrated 3 birthdays there; and I'm taking hunter's ed next weekend!!!

Things going on with me: Not really doing any paintings but I've been inspired to paint one just need to work on the source pictures now. I've applied for an internship at St. Jo's, doing M.O.P.s, still doing my Stroller Strong Class, Participating in a C.S. Lewis bible study and just being mom.

Our poor puppies are being harassed by very difficult neighbors. When we first moved in they decided to write us a somewhat nasty note about our dog's barking. So we agreed we would lock them up at night..problem solved. Or so we thought. The cops were called on us while we were out of town...leaving my poor brother to deal with the issue. Again we were out of town and animal control came out in the MORNING...not early but at the time where it is legal for telemarketers to call...to tell us that someone called to complain about the excessive barking. They weren't barking at this particular moment. Today while I was running the wienerfest 5k the animal control officer was called out again...this time with Brandon home. Big mistake. Brandon went to the backyard to see what was going on with Daisy (the yellow lab above) and our neighbors were enticing the dog to bark so we could get a ticket! These neighbors of ours are adults...so they need to come talk to us and quit being children. We didn't get a ticket thankfully because Brandon confronted the A.C.O and told him that this S*** was going on. But next time we may not be so lucky. :(

Greatest Fear vs Faith

Yesterday I had a low sort of depressing day. I haven't been as bad as before and I hope that my post pregnancy hormones are evening out. Any ways, I finally figured out what was bothering me that night. This past Monday a 10 year boy was shot and killed by accident by his best friend. That resonated with me since we have a small little boy and we have firearms.

When Luke was first born another little boy, age 4, died 2 days after Luke was born from Carbon Monoxide poisoning in our old town. I was devastated...I was telling Brandon to go out and get any and all detectors for a house that didn't have any natural gas. We have them in our current house now. That is my greatest Fear. Losing Luke.

As I came to this realization of why I was in a down spirit yesterday when I was reading my C.S. Lewis book "Mere Christianity"....and please correct me if I got this all wrong. I finally understand God's love for us. I guess it had to take being a parent to figure it out but if that was the way I was to learn I am glad for it. You see are emotions, our instinct and our reasoning is all given to us by God. We love because God loves, we reason because God reasons. We couldn't know how to do it unless God can do it because after all we are created in HIS image. I guess that is where Christ comes in. You see God does not know sin, we turned away from him. We decided it was better be like God instead of being children of God....in essence we wanted to be God and didn't want Him to be apart of that. Christ was God's only way of reconnecting with us. You see when we sin we have to repent, but do not want to and we need God's help to do so. God does not know how to repent because He has not sinned. So in essence we do not know how because God does not know how. That is where Christ comes in. God could only do it that if He became human so that we can repent our wrong doings and be closer to and with God. That is basically what I understand now lets talk about God as Father.

As a parent this very fear of Losing Luke can almost put me in to an anxiety attack. It may worsen when I think of being separated from him, not for periods of time but FOREVER. I can't imagine the pain it is to lose a child but I know it is great. I guess that is how God feels when he loses his children. I guess he wants to be with us and watch us grow up, but the idea of being separated from those he has created can be gut wrenching. I guess sometimes I think with the amount of people who do not know God and denounce him I want to give God some Prozac and tell him it will be ok..."I'll bring his Children back to him...I'll go and gather the sheep". I guess that is why he gives us eternal life because He doesn't want to be separated from us no more than I wanting be separated from Luke. He loves ME, and you...THAT MUCH. Only way to do that was to make a sacrifice. Something I would do to save my son from danger. Maybe that is why he gives us children and families is to know God's love. To recreate it on Earth so that we know what it like in Heaven. But if I can love and not do it perfectly, can you imagine God's love and he can do everything perfectly. WOW!

I went to bed knowing that God loves me that much and my fear subsided and faith stepped in.

Amazing Day

I've been too distracted by frontierville to post. I found a new hobby, not sure it's a good one-to waste the minutes of my day. Seriously, playing frotierville makes my day at home go by so much quicker. I know I probably could be cleaning or doing something that is productive...like work on my paintings...but when Luke is sleeping or playing by himself I want something that is sort of mindless....an escape for a short time...but this in the end is not why I'm blogging.

God is good. I hope you know that. I've been blessed in so many ways. I got approved to start teaching my art classes at A&M UMC. So they start next week! WHOOP!!! So when I went to the church to pick out a room, I had many to my own choosing and got to pick any of them! After that I stopped by and met the music director. He just so happens to be leading a study on "Mere Christianity"by C.S. Lewis! Another WHOOP! (When I WHOOP it is like me saying Hallelujah or Amen for you non-aggies) See earlier post of why this is so important. Turns out, the choir director and I have similar issues with family members who are atheist. We both agree digging into C.S. Lewis' philosophies will not only fortify our own beliefs but also have some "rhetoric ammo" when we defend our faith or try to persuade the other side.

Soon after our introduction he realized I was the art teacher and was excited about my classes. He is going to do some free advertising for me in next week's bulletin. He is also interested in hosting me and some other local artist in an art show. So that gives me motivation to get out a few more pieces. I shall have no excuses of not to paint. I'm working on gathering up source pictures and so I hope to start one here soon!

So after leaving church I was so excited because I felt that God has something big planned for me and my art. Things were just happening! As I was driving home I noticed a car full of people on the side of the road. So I slammed on my brakes (no one was behind me) and did a U-TURN and went back to help. It was a black family...and the only reason why I bring up the color of their skin is because it brings back memories of me and Katy-Marie in the HEB parking lot picking up some black teenagers and giving them a lift to Little Caesars and the entire time I was freaking out ( I think we had a total of 5 black kids in my high school class...I was a sheltered white girl and find them intimidating if they dress "gangster" style**on that note anyone who dresses like that is intimidating...I really don't find it fashionable or "cool"**. And I know I say all of this with Eminem playing on my playlist...oxymoron if ask me) because I thought we were getting ourselves in trouble. I was humbled that night and she taught me something great...TRUST the spirit of God. So today I had that peace and I KNEW it was the spirit telling me to turn back and help those people. Stranger or no Stranger help them. So we went and got gas and filled up their van and I took off. I think they were even surprised this young white girl was helping them. They thanked me but really I wanted to keep hugging the mom and tell her thank you because they blessed my life. Today I grew not only in my walk with God, but took a step closer in to loving his children, his people the way he loves me and that is something I learned yesterday from reading Mere Christianity. SO really today was blessed day.

Awe inspiring....

So God is truly amazing. I was stunned and I continue to wish I was in that moment!

This Sunday we baptized our son Luke. We were joined by our closest friends and family during this ceremony. My brother is a self proclaimed athesit and probably would never had stepped into a church if it wasn't for Luke.

So since we scheduled our son's baptism I've been praying for a miracle; since this is a rare oppurtunity. Since then I've been re-reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis to better understand the philosophy background since my brother uses that to argue his point. I told my friend Kara and my husband this last night as we are bathing Luke. That I've been praying for this awesome sermon that would get my brother thinking...start looking for God instead of looking for nothing.

Sunday's sermon was right on target. It was the sermon I prayed for and to witness an actual prayer be answered was amazing. It talked about how God leaves the light on for you when you are in darkness. People who are in the darkest dark are those who do not know God. The preacher also mentioned how after his athesit firend read "Mere Christianity" that he had no doubt that there was God. I was amazed...almost in tears and in shock that this was unfolding in front of us. Two others were there to witness this blessing because they knew I had been praying for this. I looked at my brother a few times and he was engaged and thinking during this sermon. It may not have convinced him today, but I continue that the seed that was planted will grow. I pray now that he picks up my book by C.S. Lewis and read it..since it speaks his language.

Here is the sermon transcript! http://am-umc.org/sermons/2010/sermon100725.htm

I feel that today the devil got a grasp on my family. Today just didn't feel right. First is all I had to go buy a swimsuit. So I went to academy to find a nice tankini to hide my "tiger stripes". I was super excited when I got there because all swim wear was 50% off! Only problem was they had nothing. No tankinis at all!!!! So I was bummed. I tried on a few others but I haven't gotten quite used to my new mommy body. It has taken some time.

So we went home after that and took a nap, ate lunch to prepare for this late afternoon's swim party! Definitely looking forward to that. I decided to check Target before I headed over there to see if they had any cute swim suits. I had one of my old ones on just in case I didn't find any. I was so happy that I found one! So I gathered a few more items and left the store on my way to the party with other moms. Then failure....

My care decided that it was going to refuse to take the key. So I sat there for 30 minutes trying to jiggle the key into the ignition. Luke was crying, we were both sweating. Not sure who I should call because I knew of some people's schedules and they were busy today. We missed the party and got a ride home from a nice lady.

What gets me is this car has been nothing but trouble. I just want to sell it and finance a new/used car. I know that is not one of our goals at the moment but it is just so tempting to get a loan so I can be done with this car drama. I think I might throw a party when the car is gone.

Today's Accomplishments

Today I actually painted. I'm pretty proud of that since I had Luke with me today. Though I really only painted for like an hour...I later joined Luke for a nap.

Since our return from Lytle we are having to recondition Luke. Last night was ok...but I am hoping night will be an improvment.

Today felt like a Monday but I was glad it didn't start like a Monday. I got up this morning and finally went to my stroller fit class. I was glad to be back and working out. Although while doing morning drills I fell on my knees and smashed my face in to the concrete ground. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing but there just happened to be a bunch of college guys nearby running up the hill and saw the entire fiasco. Today wasn't a good day to exercise outside. It was warm and very humid...no wind. So I experienced some heat exhaustion and almost passed out. I sat down alot because I was getting dizzy. I think I need to drink more water.

Luke and I went to the new walmart in College Station. I have to say it is as classy as a target. It is very very nice. I generally don't like walmart but this is the only exception. We actually got through without any tantrums but I think people think I am crazy. I kept making funny faces, singing silly songs and kissing toes. I actually had fun shopping today.

NANNERS!!!!!!!! Today Luke started eating banannas. YEA!!! I don't think he was to thrilled as I am because he didn't each very much. It could also because daddy fed him and not mommy. Luke also rolled over from back to front! We've been watching it for a couple of weeks now so we knew it would be close. Now I have a whole new thoughts to worry about. Most of which is what if he rolls over in his sleep and smothers himself! Again I have a vivid imagination...just wished I used it for good instead of for bad.

PPD: Today was good. No feelings of wanting to cry. I hope this continues. I think it helped alot when I got home yesterday and the entire house was clean; all credit to the hubby. I also think returning to see friends and family this weekend and having an art outlet set me back on the saddle. Doctor said she would give me something for it but I truly believe my exercising helps. I'll give it a few more weeks and decide. I feel that admitting that I have PPD I recognize it is a situation I have no control over. I did nothing to cause it and I'm not a bad mother or person for having this condition. I just need to take care of myself so I can continue becing a good wife and good mommy!

Step Two of new painting

This is before Lunch on the second day... this is what I worked on. Finished the underpainting and started to build around my focal point which was the falls. I started with placing in the darks in. In the past I used to block in everything. That would then take away from the focal point; instead I learned to build around it.

I also tend to detail everything. I guess when people see you as an artist they want to see how realistic you can get it. They expect you to make them a photograph of an image. Taking away how the artist sees the painting. When an artist interprets the object they put in emotions, personality and charcter into the painting's object. Put some people in a classroom and ask them to paint a pear and that pear will be seen differently by each individual. It drives me nuts when people don't think it looks like it...and we are to say "Well...that is what you see, but I see it differently! "

Any ways, I then got the background too green with Viridian Hue. A little goes along way. So we grayed up the mountains by using a bluish gray to distance them and to get rid of the green. We also used a pink sky to give the essence of morning or mid morning.

Another thing to remind myself. Darks closest to the foreground are going to be the darkest dark and as they move away the get lighter. Another thing I am known for are hard lines and high contrast. So I'm trying to tone down the darks as the move away from the front of the picture.

Started a New Painting 7/16-18

7

So I took an Art class this weekend with Jay Hester in Boerne, TX. He was one of the instructors when I recieved a scholarship from HLSR. So since I am trying to begin an art career I decided I needed to learn something new and improve my skills.

I decided to work on my art show piece for the Hill Country Arts Council: Art in Conservation Spring Show 2011. I generally don't like landscapes. Too, many trees, too much green and too boring. If there was some cows in a landscape it's more interesting...ect. So this is different and out of my comfort zone.

Since the last time I took from, I've gotten lazy. I race through the underpainting and then block in everything in with color. Really it more like painting by numbers. Take your time building your underpainting...the better the map the better you will be able to work on the pictire. Place your darks first and then build around the object as it is relative to it. If you don't get what I'm saying that's ok. :) So this is the beginning of the piece...Step one.

The Beginning of a new thing

There are several reasons why I decided to start a blog..but the biggest one was to journal thoughts and feelings. This year has been full of excitement. I gave birth to our son Luke, Brandon (my husband) got a new job, we moved from Hondo to College Station, TX and I finished nursing school and passed my boards. All of this has been fun and exciting but has left me drain. I talked to my Doctor this week and she agrees that I might have essence of or delayed post partum depression. Mainly because of all of the above happening in the span of 4 months, but also because my support of friends and family are not neccessarily there anymore in College Station. Don't get me wrong, I still have friends there but some relationships are distant then others, some I need to get to know better and some are just in a different stage of life then I am in. There is room to grow in those friendships but I lost a very close friendship which I have yet to re-establish in College Station.

So in essence I have created this blog to discuss the thoughts and feelings I have and just to put my inner thoughts into a space that is neutral. I don't care if you disagree with them or agree but to give you example...I was watching Foxnews and all i wanted to do was to yell but instead of yelling I texted my husband all my thoughts about this certain individual and their policies. He later told me to start a blog. Then I visited my friend's blog and it looked like alot of fun. So here I am...starting a blog of randomness.